in other news...

alot has happened in the past two weeks, but most significantly, the boy has turned 10! he has lived on this earth for one decade now, and i have to admit, it does seem like a long time: ten years for him has also been ten years for me...

we have just completed a week off of school for spring break, in which my parents flew out to surprise francis for his birthday. the preceeding week, the week i was supposed to be cleaning and preparing, francis came down with strep and missed 4 days of school. needless to say, we watched alot of cartoons and i didn't get much done. but we managed, and luckily he was over his contagious factor so as not to interefere with all our guests and his birthday party. we had greg's brothers dave and brad, and brad's kids, all sleepover the night before the party, then francis had a whole day with uncles and cousins while i baked the brownies and picked up my parents from the airport. we surprised him at the party, which was at a boys and girls club that we had rented out last minute, when we were done deluding ourselves that we could fit everyone into our apartment. (well, we might have been able to fit everyone, but then no one would be able to move, so...it was a win-win situation for everyone. but mostly for me!)

his party was a blast: thanks to all of you who came out and made the evening so much fun! and then, in the following week, francis had a fun-filled vacation with his grandma and grandpa, and also us, which he didn't notice much. for his birthday, monday, greg took off work, and we were all trying to figure out what grand plans we would do for the day...take the ferry to port townsend? drive up to deception pass? but finally we realized we weren't giving francis his say on his special day, we were treating it more like a vacation day. so, francis, what do YOU want to do on your birthday? and instantly he said: museum of flight! so there we went. it's a boys paradise really. and my dad got a kick out of touring the concorde, which he actually has ridden on before, back in the 80's, for business. so of course we took all the necessary touristy pictures. (i'll post more on my flickr page).









i must mention this: it was sunny and bright EVERY SINGLE DAY they were here. a miracle of miracles! my dad said: "so what are you complaining about?" we were stripping off coats, had red mill burgers OUTSIDE! ON PICNIC TABLES! IN FEBRUARY! i had been preparing myself for what we could do in the rain. but as it was, we were lazy in the mornings, getting coffee and sun in my kitchen, then went out for the afternoons: downtown, pike place market, the zoo, the EMP and science fiction museum, and going out to eat for lunch or dinner to all our favorite places. we played card games, napped, watched movies, ate popcorn...truly vacationed without going anywhere. it was very relaxing, very fun, and now that my parents have returned to the actual winter that is morgantown, pennsylvania...we miss them very much.

and life has returned to its pace it was before: busy. normal. back to school and homework. ignored laundry is a towering mountain of mess, francis' room is an absolute disaster, as is our room, and my to-do list is so long that i decided if i got one thing done a day, i'd feel ok. so i make my coffee in the mornings, stove-top style, and slowly make a dent, to get myself back on track.

p.s. that birthday sign? my mother made. when we were growing up, she had made stuffed letters out of fabric, you know, the whole 70's thing, and the more kids she had, the more letters she made. i have never had the skill to do this, being i can't sew, but this year, she sent francis, in the mail, letters cut out of cereal boxes, and dollars, for him to put together. the first envelope were the letters H and A, with a dollar bill. he was confused. so i put them together and said: "HA HA, you get ONE dollar for your birthday!" and he sighed. but the next day, with a P and a P, and two more dollars, he started to get the hint. so then everyday, he ran to the mail box, predicting the next letters and eagerly awaiting the dollars. once he completed "happy birthday" there was a left-over F, and he yelped with joy! wahoo!! it wasn't just "happy birthday"; it was "happy birthday francis"!!! and he excitedly counted up the next letters and dollars he would receive. it was a wonderful plan, thanks mom and dad. and it led up to the final and best gift: you coming to spend time with us...we miss you already! and wouldn't you know it? it's back to gray...

rain, rain, go away

well, i needed a new photo up, and this is one thing i do to combat the gray. i try to get my trader joes flowers to last as long as they can, so first there's the big bright bouquet, and then when it starts dwindling, i pull out the flowers that are dead, and put the survivors in smaller vases. even if it's just one flower. it'll do.

it's february now, and february always comes up on me quick and takes me by surprise. baseball tryouts are starting this weekend (already?!!) and then coming up next week, there's valentine's day, which, if you're a grown-up, and don't want to participate in, you don't have to, but if you've got a kid, then you must, because all the kids swap valentine's at school. so there's the mini-battle over that. oh, the things "they" market! francis wanted to buy this spiderman pack at safeway, and half of them had a very scary "venom" looking like it was going to bite your face off. oozing fangs and everything. i said: "this looks a bit too scary for valentine's day." and francis said: " of course he looks scary. he's VENOM. he always looks like that." and i said: "yeah, but for valentine's day?" and then i of course couldn't help but saying: " you know, just because some company makes these things, doesn't mean we have to buy it." and then i suggest we wait a little longer, and see what other options there are. and of course: "you know, you could always make them yourself." but lately we've been noticing more and more, the little slump of his shoulders, the glazing over of the eyes, and his quick agreeance with us over what was said. defeated. like "yeah, you're right, they are stupid." somehow we've steered off-coure and landed in the swamp. and then we have to say: "no no no! WE are making a parental decision, but YOU don't have to agree with us. you just have to say "ok". i'm not trying to get you to think they're stupid, and you don't have to change your mind if you like them. you can like them, but i just don't think they're appropriate, ok?" (sigh) somehow, there's this hair-thin line that gets crossed without even knowing it until you're on the other side. i definitely don't want to be the parent that says "no" all the time. it does seem like we say "no" alot. there's alot of things out there that we don't agree with, that are ridiculous, not necessary, extravagant, commercial, and we just want to live simply. is that cliche or trendy to say? we don't want alot of "stuff". but living simply makes you stand out. not going with the flow gets you noticed. it comes with alot of "no's". and francis is starting to feel it. it used to not bother him so much i think, but now it's starting to. and i know with kids some things you just gotta stand firm on, but how many things do we insist upon, that, at the end of the day, are just a battle that we want to win? a battle that really makes no difference, except it separates our child from us just a little bit more? if something as little as a valentine is that big to me, might it not be that big to francis? is letting him get those horrible spiderman valentine's selling out our principles, or is it wising up and stepping back, and just letting francis make the choice he wants? i definitely don't want it to be one of those things where, when he grows up, he thinks: my mother never let me get the valentines i wanted. stupid, little things that become big because we make them that way.

and then, on the tail of valentine's day, is his birthday, feb. 18th, which always seems to happen during his school's spring break. and if valentine's day was tricky, you should see us trying to plan his birthday! i don't even want to talk about it, because that was not what i was planning on blogging about. i wasn't even plannning on blogging on what i just wrote. i was going to blog about something boring, about repotting my plants because they're completely top-heavy and are practically bursting out of their pots. but now i've already written too much and spent too much time. i'm in the middle of laundry,(i'm switching out my winter duvets to my summer ones, already, because i just need a change of color. something bright and cheery!) and i'm also in the middle of cleaning, and finishing up my flaxseed pillows. it's kind of like: when it rains it pours. all of a sudden, i have 101 things to do! don't we all? but no big deal. all those things to do, don't bother me. they're just part of living. i just do them. but parenting. that bothers me. i just keep forgetting to think like a kid...