Sunday, November 14, 2010

basketball diaries

francis has been in sports most of his life, from soccer and tennis when he was little, many years of baseball and quite a few winters of city-league basketball. we have finally entered that especially charged time in childhood: being on your school's sport team. this is our (his) first. i have signed multitudes of parent release forms, medical forms, i-won't-sue-you forms... but i have NEVER seen a form quite like this one before. it really takes the cake. parents worry enough as it is, this one just spells it all out for you, so you can really worry much more effectively and specifically. francis has always been a bit of a cautious child, and also a literal one. i thought it best we paraphrase it for him,(and keep the worrying to us) or else he might change his mind about playing any sport again!

after a page of rules, the participant is informed of the following (copied exactly, emphasis theirs):

" I am aware that basketball is a high-risk sport and that practicing or competing in basketball will be a dangerous and unpredictable activity involving MANY RISKS OF INJURY. I understand that the dangers and risk of practicing and competing in basketball include, but are not limited to, death, serious neck and spinal injuries which may result in complete or partial paralysis, brain damage, blindness, serious injury to virtually all internal organs, serious injury to virtually all bones, joints, ligaments, muscles, tendons and other aspects of my body, general health and well-being. I understand that the dangers and risk of practicing or competing in basketball may result not only in serious injury, but in serious impairment of my future abilities to earn a living, to engage in other business, social and recreational activities and generally to enjoy life."

??!!

5 comments:

sarah diama said...

oh my goodness! that form is insane! I think you could have lots of fun using other activities in place of basketball... cooking, walking, catching the bus, etc. That last sentence is just unreal!!!!
I guess is just shows no one wants to be responsible for themselves, that the school has to cover their backs in the most literal and detailed matter. Hope no one worries too much, and you can all enjoy the games :)Wish we could cheer him on!

Anonymous said...

Hahaha!! Look out for those sports, they COULD kill you! We should all just sit inside and be hermits. That'll be fun... =: )

Charis said...

Sorry, anonymous was me!

rachel said...

i especially like "virtually all organs, virtually all bones" and of course: " generally, to enjoy life."

geez louise!

JACKFRUIT said...

Hahahahaha hahahaha