easter weekend

this photo was taken as francis and i walked towards our church for the good friday night service. it was 7 o'clock and the sky was hinting with sunset; the tree blossoms were radiant. not that you can really capture that with a cell-phone, but, still, i aim and click the buttons.

saturday arrived gorgeously bright and sunny. francis had a school dance performance downtown at mccaw hall.



it was a school assignment, basically. many seattle schools participated, and for the past few months, his school's 4th grade classes have had a dancer from PNB come every friday and teach them some basic dance steps, and then the kids in each class worked on a dance of their own to perform. each class picked their own song and theme. it was quite a production, and the kids had a really great time. francis said it was really fun to be on stage, and not as scary as he thought it would be. in between each school's performances, we were treated to real ballet performances from PNB dancers. and to end out the program, was a hip-hop number from REACH! Student Dance Group. after the show, when i collected francis, he excitedly told me: did you see that last dance? that was awesome! greg was very sad to have to miss it, and my sneaky cell-phone pictures (no photos allowed!) did no justice at all. i had to be content with pictures after the show.



after that, we wandered seattle center, got an elephant ear and chai teas, and enjoyed the sunshine. i had enough change for francis to enjoy a round of mini-golf, and i enjoyed people watching. and taking more pictures with my cell-phone. (more on my flickr page)











we took the monorail again (2 times in 2 weekends! and front row this time)



and then we hopped on the bus home. we had just enough time for a quick supper before we headed out again to see our friend chris bowden and his band: other desert cities, play a show at Q Cafe. francis cracked me up. he was very excited to see all his (grown-up) friends at the show, and wanted to stand by them. and talk with them. like one of them. fresh off his looney tunes kick, he's been saying: "what's up, doc?" to everyone. afterwords, karen and kevin came back to our place, to "watch" francis so i could go get greg at the airport at 11pm. rounding out a very busy day, francis went to bed (at 10:30pm mind you) entirely disappointed to be reminded that he was a child and needed to go to bed!

easter sunday arrived with pouring rain. such a departure from the day before! but the service was good, and i got tears in my eyes when i could hear francis deciding to sing along, his little chirpy voice scooping along, trying to follow the notes to songs he didn't know. there's just something about children singing whole-heartedly that just chokes me up. they are still so innocent.

we enjoyed a wonderful easter brunch with friends, hosted at the many's. and then, it stopped raining. the sun came out! the kids had in indoor egg hunt, and then we decided to head (quick! before the sun goes away!) to the university of washington campus, where the cherry blossoms were in full bloom.(if you haven't already, go check them out! they won't last much longer!) the bright sun was deceiving; it was bitterly cold with a whipping wind, but we lasted for about an hour. just long enough to get red noses and not feel guilty to go home and veg out for the remainder of the day.

good friday

so this week has been wet. and rainy. and gray.

i haven't felt much like blogging, even tho i have pictures to post from last weekend and many varied thoughts swirling in my mind. i haven't been able to summon up any creative energy to do easter crafts with francis, even tho a week ago i really wanted to (envious of jennifer and ann-krestene!) and the best i can do is get down from the cupboard the eggs we made a few years ago. (don't worry, they're empty, not hardboiled!)
today is a no-school day, so i thought while francis was happily battling away on lego star wars, i would try to do an update. greg is gone for the weekend, to california, for his annual guys reunion that he's been doing since before we got married. i think it's pretty special that they still meet, once a year, here or there, even tho it's an effort to get away, with job, wives, kids... it doesn't usually happen the weekend of easter, tho, so this year they're cutting it a bit short, so the men can be home for sunday. my grand plans for easter projects with francis have been gradually losing its oomph this week, so we'll see what i can come up with. i still have a few days.



last saturday, it was raining (surprise, surprise!) and we had a planned excursion north, to the fairbanks residence, for the dinner party they were having to celebrate their soon-to-be adoption of two babies from ethiopia. it got sunny as we were preparing to leave, and i got excited for the bonfire. but then it started raining again on the drive there. and then it poured. and then it hailed. we had august and hazel with us for the evening; i hoped the weather would clear for them to get to explore outside, for the fairbanks have lots of woods, and the fairbanks have 5 kids! it did eventually stop raining, and the kids did indeed play outside all evening, and even into the night, with flashlights. forts in the trees, forts under the porch...it was kid heaven. sonora cooked up an amazing ethiopian feast for all of us, which was delicious, and it was a wonderful evening of celebration, with good food and good friends. ( more pics on flickr)







on sunday, greg went on a long bike ride with some friends, so francis and i caught the bus downtown to check out the irish festival, and see the irish dancers, for st. patrick's day. i think it was good for him, to hear music from another culture, to see even the littlest of girls dancing such intricate steps. he asked: why is it always the girls that dance? i said that's a good question. i don't know. maybe the men were out working. maybe the men were playing the instruments that supplied the music. (i'm not ready to say: because the men like to watch women dance?) but i did say, that back in the olden days, before tv and movies, people provided their own entertainment, by coming together, playing music, dancing, singing, telling stories... something you don't see too much of these days.

how interesting that a holiday to celebrate the life and deeds, of a missionary to an ancient God-less ireland, is celebrated now by wearing green, attending parades, and drinking beer. and how challenging it is to parent, to teach a child to question, that the world's ways aren't the only ways. or even the right ways, alot of the time. apparently, i was a child who questioned everything, wouldn't believe something until i researched it myself. i hear i drove my mother nuts. and now i have a kid who believes everything he sees, hears, or reads. even something another kid tells him is the gospel truth. and now, he drives ME nuts. i try to instruct him to not believe everything he hears, to come home and look it up for himself, or ask questions, ask us. but somehow, it still comes out like: "because i said so." it's the parent telling him to do something, and he doesn't want to do it. he doesn't want to question. because he thinks he knows. he just wants to believe. which is good when it's the right things. and not good when it's the wrong things. how do you teach discernment, without them disbelieving everything?

and this is the face i get alot of the time.



so here i am, approaching easter. i tell him, remind him: you know it's more than easter baskets and chocolate bunnies, right? we talk about jesus, the passover, the cross. (but he's got one eye on the clock. how do i talk to him, without talking AT him?) it's a fine line, a struggle. and even tho the commercialism bothers me, since it is here: i have to admit nostalgia exists. i love these things too. i can't wholly deny the culture i grew up with, and the excitement i remember as a child, dressing up extra special for church on easter sunday, the baskets with plastic grass, hunting for eggs, gifts of chocolate. they make easter sunday different from any other sunday. the preparation, the decorations, the gifts, (much like christmas) help a child recognize the specialness of the day, something to look forward to, and the symbolism, we hope, is not altogether lost on them. we hope that the words we teach them (love the Lord your God with all your heart), the stories we tell them (love your neighbor as yourself), will someday snag on their heart, and become life inside of them. that someday they will do these things on their own. and not because i said so.

this is the day, this is the day...

today is one of those days, that i remember every year, and will probably remember forever, because i learned it in childhood, and it became part of my subconscious. it is maybe not as well-known as valentine's day or st. patrick's day, but the date is definitely more remembered than president's day or mlk,jr. day...
today is the Ides of March. and if you don't remember what it is: go look it up, i'm not gonna tell you.

but besides that, it is wet and gray out, and has been for the past three days. my boys are off at baseball practice, which has taken over a significant part of the month. baseball season has begun, with greg coaching, practices 2 nights a week, and on saturday afternoons. and after that, let the games begin! greg is a very good coach, (and that's not just my opinion); he loves the game, he loves being with the kids, he's a good teacher. and: i enjoy watching him coach. there's something in him that comes alive on the field...i remember crushing on him severely when we first met, in 1995: when i began to notice that i was watching him (and not the ball, incidently, haha), when our friends played baseball for fun, on these very same greenlake fields, so many years ago. his joy of the game was evident then, and is still evident now. he's just born in the wrong era. he's an old-fashioned baseball lover, of the kind of baseball that doesn't exist anymore...

our breakfast this morning: coffee, chocolate croissants, and scrambled eggs. when i was at trader joe's this week, i remembered that melissa mentioned getting these croissants in the frozen food section, so i decided to try it. i even remembered to put them out to rise last night, so this morning, we had hot croissants right out of the oven. you can't get much better than that.







on thursday, we had a "first" for francis. we dropped him off at the boys and girls club in wallingford. he has been asking to go to boys and girls club, oh, probably since the very first time he heard it mentioned, in kindergarten. i suppose he thought it was this fantastic thing that he was always denied. it was such a mystery. it's a CLUB! it's for BOYS! and GIRLS! it must be so much fun! you throw the word "club" onto anything, and kids want to be involved. and of course, we explained it to him, that it was really just hanging out afterschool, for the kids whose parents worked and couldn't come get them at 3. but i don't think he really believed us. and honestly, the boys and girls club at our school, is just a small portable, where the kids color or read, or play on the playground, until their parents come get them. not that big of a deal. BUT. when we had his birthday at the boys and girls club in wallingford (all completely random, and driven by necessity) he got to see what was happening HERE: ping-pong! basketball! air hockey! fussball! pool! joys above joys! when we dropped by to make our reservation and payment (for his birthday), we saw his eyes big as saucers; we saw him longing. so we asked the desk: what's the deal to go here? we took the membership packet home and read all the fine print, because it just couldn't be as good as it sounded. $15 a school-year? that's it? to drop your kid off after-school, every day if you wanted? yup! so francis' dream finally came true on thursday, and on wednesday night, after he was asleep, we noticed that he had already laid his clothes out for the morning. he was sooo excited. and when i dropped him off at school, he reminded me: "don't forget, mama, i've got boys and girls club afterschool." oh, i won't forget. greg and i had our own worries. he has a hard enough time at school, making friends, losing recess often for goofing in class, kids picking on him for not being good enough at football, etc etc...that the idea of throwing him to a very chaotic roomful of kids, all-ages, supervised by a few young 20-somethings, wasn't too enticing. but, we've realized we need to start letting go, letting him do things his own way, the way he wants to do them. so, this was one thing we felt we could accomodate. well, at least once a week, or so..



francis wanted me to drop him off at the street, but i said i had to sign him in for the first few times, til they're familiar with him. while there, i hear an adult yelling: NO HUNTING EACHOTHER WITH THE POOL STICKS!--as two teen-agers run past me. (sigh) i decided to hang out for a bit, and see if francis needed me, but he quickly joined a kid playing pool, and i could hear him chattering away. i waved goodbye, and he waved back; he was happy. the night before, in his bedtimes prayers, he had prayed that he would have fun at boys and girls club, and that he would make some new friends, and i almost cried right there and then.



so what did we do while our boy was at play? we realized we would have time to catch a matinee, so for the first time, (in a really long time) i met greg downtown, and we caught a movie together. hmmm... now why didn't we think of this before???

growing pains

i am ready for winter to be over. if we're not going to get any more snow, then i am ready for sunshine and the shedding of coats. already the trees are budding, and crocuses are blooming. did the warm week we had a few weeks ago fool them? or is it really time for blooms? i learned: april showers bring may flowers, when i was a girl in school, but maybe that's not true in the northwest? also, since when did easter fall the weekend after st. patrick's day?? there was always one holiday a month (in school) and march was always a frenzy of green and four leaf clovers. now we're trying to cram in easter as well? when did that happen? and we also completely missed daylight savings, i had no clue, which meant we completely missed church. so, we had a very lazy sunday, which was nice: coffee, staying in pajamas all afternoon, vegging on the couch watching sunday matinee tv movies and reruns...we haven't had a lazy, do nothing day, in a really long time.

our fishes have survived the week, and our frog too, which means, somehow, when i'm not looking, he actually does find food. he still doesn't look keen on his new neighbors, and stays under his rock almost all the time. i'm not sure that's healthy, but not sure what to do on that front.

i am feeling a bit eccentric-hermit-lady lately, because i also bought francis a venus flytrap a little while ago, (and also one of these which i can't pronounce)and have so far succeeded in not killing them, and they have both produced a flower! yay! however, we are still stuck on the feeding-them-bugs part, as we have no bugs flying around in our apartment. (apparently, you don't normally need to feed them anything, because in the wild, bugs naturally get caught. however, we are indoor city folk,) so we'll see, i suppose...



speaking of growing things, my friend lynne has started a little blog-journal about her recent project: growing chicks! from eggs! it is very fascinating, check it out, and start with day 1 and work your way up. i wish we lived nearby to pop in and visit her eggs, and it got me a bit nostalgic, wishing francis could have a baby chick too. i know, i know, where would we put it? but i'm a sucker for cute, cuddly things, and besides, when they grow up, they can give you eggs! i've had random, crazy thoughts before, about owning a chicken or two, just to give francis some sense of responsibility, something to take care of, and also a dose of: "the olden days", if you know what i mean: taking a slower pace to life, and working to achieve a goal, working to eat, etc. i know that sounds a bit lofty or archaic, but, i think the kinda-country-girl in me, is sometimes at odds with our city-living, and the city-boy we have produced, who doesn't climb trees, play in ponds, and hunt for little living creatures in the fields. and that's sad to me.

this got me thinking on things i have wished for francis that i never followed thru on. things that are definitely more natural and easy to do, if you live in the country, but take lots of time and energy if you live in the city, and consequently, often do not get done. like going hiking, or at least exploring in the woods, on a semi-regular basis. learning to swim and liking it. going to camp. whittling things with pocket knives. all that rugged, woodsy, boy stuff. he's 10, so i guess i still have time. but i feel like i've missed alot of time already...

so, in a fit of wanting to actually DO something this spring, i started looking things up. i found this farm, that has a children's animal farm, but got completely sidetracked by this: learning to ride a pony! how fun would that be! and then i was looking up egg-hunts, since easter is just around the corner, but wondered if francis would be too old, until i found this: an evening family flashlight hunt!?? i have never heard of such a thing, but francis i know would got absolutely nuts, he would love it.
boys + night + flashlight + hunting things = delight!!

i really do want to give him more, in the department of: the joys of childhood. joys that don't include videogames or movies, joys that get him outside and excited about nature, animals, excercise. he really does enjoy these things, all it takes is the effort to get him outside, and he is immediately having fun, learning and discovering. and that is a joy to see...

all things bright and beautiful

while cleaning out the frog tank on saturday, i broke the filter, or more accurately, the filter just crumbled in my hand. so, off we bundled to the pet store for a new one. two hours later, we came home with much more than a filter. (i am indeed a sucker, for most things that live and breathe...)

first, we looked at ALL the animals. (pet stores are almost as good as going to the zoo.) and then, francis begged me for a ferret, then a canary, then a lizard. (no. no. and no.) i said we came for a filter. but then we started looking at fishes. so cute. their wide eyes, their little lips. now francis wanted a fish. so i aksed: is there any kind of fish that can live in a small tank, with an aquatic frog? turns out there was only one kind of fish there that could live in an unheated tank, that didn't grow big, and that the frog wouldn't eat: a white cloud fish. they were only $1.29, (such a bargain!)so we got two. francis named them batman and robin. not my first choice. i was all worried that the frog might eat them, but as it turns out, i should've been more worried for the frog. we've had him for about a year now, and he's managed to not die yet, a very amazing feat. but now i've introduced these new excited beings to his home, and i'm not sure he likes it. they are flashes of color and they never sit still. they inspect every inch of the tank continually. and they greedily go for all the food. while they are stuffing their faces, i have to try to sneak the frog food past them, and i wonder if he's getting enough. he just sits under his rock, and he looks very grumpy. i don't know if frogs can get grumpy, but, if they do, i'm sure he is. unfortunately, i don't have the heart to take the fish out, because that would mean their death, and i can't do that. so hoppy(or is it floppy?) is just gonna have to deal with the cards that have been dealt him, and buck up. i did buy him a real live aquatic plant, and took out the plastic one. he does like to sit under it, but i think he's waiting for those annoying fish to swim away, and unfortunately, they never do. (that's the problem with tanks; i don't know if he's realized it yet. i'd hate to break it to him; he seems hopeful.)



we also got a beta fish. it's been a few years and we are trying again. francis named him rainbow. (?again with the names?) but i just call him beta. or sometimes fishy-fishy. he is currently sitting on the kitchen table, and i'm hoping he'll last longer than a bouquet of flowers. he hasn't taken to his food that the pet store clerk convinced me to buy: freeze dried blood worms (-which just get bloated and float on top of the water; gross.) beta comes up to the surface, sniffs them, and swims away. he's also very grumpy, with an underbite like a bulldog. he's like an old man. i spend far more time than one would think reasonable just watching him. i got him an aquatic plant as well, and he swims thru the leaves, in the sad little circle that is his life. if only he knew, he brings joy to a little boy...

in other news...

alot has happened in the past two weeks, but most significantly, the boy has turned 10! he has lived on this earth for one decade now, and i have to admit, it does seem like a long time: ten years for him has also been ten years for me...

we have just completed a week off of school for spring break, in which my parents flew out to surprise francis for his birthday. the preceeding week, the week i was supposed to be cleaning and preparing, francis came down with strep and missed 4 days of school. needless to say, we watched alot of cartoons and i didn't get much done. but we managed, and luckily he was over his contagious factor so as not to interefere with all our guests and his birthday party. we had greg's brothers dave and brad, and brad's kids, all sleepover the night before the party, then francis had a whole day with uncles and cousins while i baked the brownies and picked up my parents from the airport. we surprised him at the party, which was at a boys and girls club that we had rented out last minute, when we were done deluding ourselves that we could fit everyone into our apartment. (well, we might have been able to fit everyone, but then no one would be able to move, so...it was a win-win situation for everyone. but mostly for me!)

his party was a blast: thanks to all of you who came out and made the evening so much fun! and then, in the following week, francis had a fun-filled vacation with his grandma and grandpa, and also us, which he didn't notice much. for his birthday, monday, greg took off work, and we were all trying to figure out what grand plans we would do for the day...take the ferry to port townsend? drive up to deception pass? but finally we realized we weren't giving francis his say on his special day, we were treating it more like a vacation day. so, francis, what do YOU want to do on your birthday? and instantly he said: museum of flight! so there we went. it's a boys paradise really. and my dad got a kick out of touring the concorde, which he actually has ridden on before, back in the 80's, for business. so of course we took all the necessary touristy pictures. (i'll post more on my flickr page).









i must mention this: it was sunny and bright EVERY SINGLE DAY they were here. a miracle of miracles! my dad said: "so what are you complaining about?" we were stripping off coats, had red mill burgers OUTSIDE! ON PICNIC TABLES! IN FEBRUARY! i had been preparing myself for what we could do in the rain. but as it was, we were lazy in the mornings, getting coffee and sun in my kitchen, then went out for the afternoons: downtown, pike place market, the zoo, the EMP and science fiction museum, and going out to eat for lunch or dinner to all our favorite places. we played card games, napped, watched movies, ate popcorn...truly vacationed without going anywhere. it was very relaxing, very fun, and now that my parents have returned to the actual winter that is morgantown, pennsylvania...we miss them very much.

and life has returned to its pace it was before: busy. normal. back to school and homework. ignored laundry is a towering mountain of mess, francis' room is an absolute disaster, as is our room, and my to-do list is so long that i decided if i got one thing done a day, i'd feel ok. so i make my coffee in the mornings, stove-top style, and slowly make a dent, to get myself back on track.

p.s. that birthday sign? my mother made. when we were growing up, she had made stuffed letters out of fabric, you know, the whole 70's thing, and the more kids she had, the more letters she made. i have never had the skill to do this, being i can't sew, but this year, she sent francis, in the mail, letters cut out of cereal boxes, and dollars, for him to put together. the first envelope were the letters H and A, with a dollar bill. he was confused. so i put them together and said: "HA HA, you get ONE dollar for your birthday!" and he sighed. but the next day, with a P and a P, and two more dollars, he started to get the hint. so then everyday, he ran to the mail box, predicting the next letters and eagerly awaiting the dollars. once he completed "happy birthday" there was a left-over F, and he yelped with joy! wahoo!! it wasn't just "happy birthday"; it was "happy birthday francis"!!! and he excitedly counted up the next letters and dollars he would receive. it was a wonderful plan, thanks mom and dad. and it led up to the final and best gift: you coming to spend time with us...we miss you already! and wouldn't you know it? it's back to gray...

rain, rain, go away

well, i needed a new photo up, and this is one thing i do to combat the gray. i try to get my trader joes flowers to last as long as they can, so first there's the big bright bouquet, and then when it starts dwindling, i pull out the flowers that are dead, and put the survivors in smaller vases. even if it's just one flower. it'll do.

it's february now, and february always comes up on me quick and takes me by surprise. baseball tryouts are starting this weekend (already?!!) and then coming up next week, there's valentine's day, which, if you're a grown-up, and don't want to participate in, you don't have to, but if you've got a kid, then you must, because all the kids swap valentine's at school. so there's the mini-battle over that. oh, the things "they" market! francis wanted to buy this spiderman pack at safeway, and half of them had a very scary "venom" looking like it was going to bite your face off. oozing fangs and everything. i said: "this looks a bit too scary for valentine's day." and francis said: " of course he looks scary. he's VENOM. he always looks like that." and i said: "yeah, but for valentine's day?" and then i of course couldn't help but saying: " you know, just because some company makes these things, doesn't mean we have to buy it." and then i suggest we wait a little longer, and see what other options there are. and of course: "you know, you could always make them yourself." but lately we've been noticing more and more, the little slump of his shoulders, the glazing over of the eyes, and his quick agreeance with us over what was said. defeated. like "yeah, you're right, they are stupid." somehow we've steered off-coure and landed in the swamp. and then we have to say: "no no no! WE are making a parental decision, but YOU don't have to agree with us. you just have to say "ok". i'm not trying to get you to think they're stupid, and you don't have to change your mind if you like them. you can like them, but i just don't think they're appropriate, ok?" (sigh) somehow, there's this hair-thin line that gets crossed without even knowing it until you're on the other side. i definitely don't want to be the parent that says "no" all the time. it does seem like we say "no" alot. there's alot of things out there that we don't agree with, that are ridiculous, not necessary, extravagant, commercial, and we just want to live simply. is that cliche or trendy to say? we don't want alot of "stuff". but living simply makes you stand out. not going with the flow gets you noticed. it comes with alot of "no's". and francis is starting to feel it. it used to not bother him so much i think, but now it's starting to. and i know with kids some things you just gotta stand firm on, but how many things do we insist upon, that, at the end of the day, are just a battle that we want to win? a battle that really makes no difference, except it separates our child from us just a little bit more? if something as little as a valentine is that big to me, might it not be that big to francis? is letting him get those horrible spiderman valentine's selling out our principles, or is it wising up and stepping back, and just letting francis make the choice he wants? i definitely don't want it to be one of those things where, when he grows up, he thinks: my mother never let me get the valentines i wanted. stupid, little things that become big because we make them that way.

and then, on the tail of valentine's day, is his birthday, feb. 18th, which always seems to happen during his school's spring break. and if valentine's day was tricky, you should see us trying to plan his birthday! i don't even want to talk about it, because that was not what i was planning on blogging about. i wasn't even plannning on blogging on what i just wrote. i was going to blog about something boring, about repotting my plants because they're completely top-heavy and are practically bursting out of their pots. but now i've already written too much and spent too much time. i'm in the middle of laundry,(i'm switching out my winter duvets to my summer ones, already, because i just need a change of color. something bright and cheery!) and i'm also in the middle of cleaning, and finishing up my flaxseed pillows. it's kind of like: when it rains it pours. all of a sudden, i have 101 things to do! don't we all? but no big deal. all those things to do, don't bother me. they're just part of living. i just do them. but parenting. that bothers me. i just keep forgetting to think like a kid...