morning has broken...

i had a goal this morning: to get out of the house and go downtown. but then, it started raining cats and dogs. drizzle i can handle. downpours not so much. my rain-boots are broken and they are on my list of "needs". my attempts at fixing them (even my dad tried when he was here!) have been no-good. they are just cute but old rubber rain-boots with orange shoelaces and i can't find anything i like to replace them, so i keep wearing broken ones. ones that let the rain in...

everything seems to be breaking at the same time.

our monitor is broken. it sends greg and i into road-rage every morning trying to boot it up. it's pre-historic. (not the monitor. the feeling. the waiting is so... un-modern.) it flickers off and goes black for about 15 minutes. you just have to turn it off and on until it sticks. i've adapted to trying to complete my business on the computer in 2 second-flicking-intervals. we're holding off on buying a new one because greg has to find a good one for his photography needs. not just any old monitor will do. and so our eyes glaze over with the pressing of the button; i feel like we're in the hatch on LOST. it's now a chore that we sometimes delegate to francis: "go boot up the monitor" and he sits there for ages, pressing the button on and off...

our video-camera is broken. gotta hold in the battery pack while filming.
the kitchen timer is broken. count to sixty in your head.
my face-powder compact is broken. store it in a baggie; it's a mess.
the green couch is unraveling.
the bed is killing our backs.

there are too many needs mixed in with too many wants.
but: these are just things.
there are other things more important...

last night, we were at the seattle art museum for the book launch party of
-YOU WILL NOT COME BACK UNCHANGED-
a book of poetry and prose from seattle area students K-12, thru the writers in the schools program. francis had one of his poems selected for this book, and he was to read it at the event. we were so proud i actually teared up when i first found out. he adamantly did NOT want to read his poem, but we pretty much forced him to. once he got there, though, he started to get nervous/excited. and when the other kids started reading their poems (he was #45 on the list, quite a long wait) he started to get more excited than nervous. he did great and didn't mess up, which was his worry. he even adlibbed a bit, adding a bit about a hummingbird that wasn't even in the text. !? i was pretty impressed with the poems these kids had written; i don't remember being taught poetry at such a young age. and afterwords, they had a book signing, and all the "authors" sat at a long table and signed books for their "fans". francis took this job very seriously and i about melted. he was totally in his element. i went down the line with our copy of the book and got all the signatures for francis to look back on. i remembered faces to go with each poem.

and then:

at the end:

francis said:
so, what do you think? should i just go tell that girl i think she's cute?

greg said:
why not? seize the moment. life is short.

so we watched him march up to the cute-poetry-reading-girl who sat next to him and say "by the way, i think you're cute", nod, and walk away.

he talked about her all night...
--------------------------------

ODE TO BIRDS: (by francis nyssen)

Birds, birds
are the most
colorful animals
green
brown
yellow
red
blue
turquoise
purple
neon blue--
I could go on.
The king of nests
has a fancy for huge
very decorated nests.
It's turquoise
and neon blue. It
sends you in a trance.
A yellow canary goes
black against the sun
on a sunny
day.
A rattle of leaves and sounds tell
you
the toucan hops
from branch to
branch, chirping.
It's beak shining, making
us see a blur of color.
A crow searches
endlessly for its
old feathers
of white.
The mimicker of
sounds mimics
the sound of its falling
forest. The king
of voice shines
its colorful feathers.
Red, blue
yellow, green,
it has a stubby
beak. It makes
you see a sea of
colors. Making
you smell fruit.
Cloves send a scent to me
making me think of birds.
A fresh
drink of chai
reminds me of when
I'm sitting in
the bird dome at
the zoo.
At night I can imagine
a vulture looks despairingly
jealous of all the color.
Starlings are
considered
good luck when
they live in your house.
A bird's color is what
the vulture
wants so badly.
Cardinal's red
makes it
look like a
streaking flame
of light across
the sky,
making fire
burn in your
eyes.

day after day

...it has looked like this. i have to confess, it's gotten me down. i haven't accomplished much. not nearly what i've wanted to. it's june and i'm still wearing my winter puffy coat to francis's baseball games. occasionally we've had a sunny day, and all of seattle pours into the out-of-doors, and then gets sunburned. but it's raining today, rained yesterday, rained most of last week, most of last month, and the month before that... get the idea? it doesn't inspire much motivation in me, and my days go by with my "things to do" not getting checked off the list; my post-it notes that have overtaken the kitchen are not getting taken down. they are deciding to live there, right there on the wall. school gets out for francis in 7 days and he and i cannot wait. but i'm telling ya, seattle: you have 7 days to shape up, because i DO NOT want summer vacation starting looking like this! so please, do a girl a favor? i'm popping vitamin D everyday, but i could really use some the natural way...

once upon a time...

there was a girl who...
just kidding, maybe you've noticed i've been gone awhile? i've just completed the 3 week intensive screenwriting class at the film school in seattle, a course that ran from 9-9pm, mon-fri, and most of the day on saturdays. my boys got a good long dose of no mom around, lots of video game time, and a consistent diet of cereal and macaroni and cheese apparently! ha ha! and i was in overdrive. i got three weeks of information input overload, a heavy dose of perspiration and inspiration, a notebook full of notes, friendships forged, lessons learned, emotions raked over the coals, oh yes, it was a bucket of laughs! (and tears.) now i'm sitting here, back in my usual quiet, trying to ignore the laundry and the dishes, and wondering how to implement all that i have learned. i'm gonna be sitting here for awhile, i'm thinking. we have been poked, prodded, implored: taught not to wait for inspiration to strike (which has always been my preferred method of composing) but to be dutiful in our writing habits: write everyday. practice practice practice. of course, easy advice can be handed out any day of the week, but after enduring 3 weeks of this onslaught to all the senses (i hear habits are formed in 2) one would hope we get the message. that artists don't become artists by picking up paint and splashing it onto the canvas. (alas, also my preferred method... what is this saying about me?) -that before you can break the rules and go all abstract, first you must learn the rules. there is a method to the madness. and there are is a TON of stuff to know about writing a screenplay, none of which involves just sitting at the computer with an idea and typing. ah, crap. "ideas are a dime a dozen, but execution is everything." it comes down to HOW to create and tell a good story, how to create interesting complex characters. process process process. hard discipline. acting is rehearsing. writing is re-writing.

now i have lots of little voices in my head.
let's see if i can get anything out on paper...

starting over

apparently, i took a break.

when i look back, it shows i averaged about 3 blogs a month in 2007 and 2008. but in 2009, i only blogged 3 times. total. ugh.

i've made no resolution for 2010.
january is always a time of reflection for me anyways, without the stress of resolutions that i may not keep (that will only serve to bum me out later). but, i would like to get back into writing more, so with that, i will say: i'll try.

a lot happened in 2009 that i have not written about: francis' terrible end of 5th grade and his seeming never-ending bout with being bullied, his first camp experience in summer (which he loved), greg's and my little get-away trip to miami (unbeknownst to us at the time: the start of hurricane season), the start of middle-school for francis, greg being sent to beijing, china twice for work, the second time in november with us joining him, me flying home in october to be with my parents for my dad's (successful!) heart surgery, flying home for christmas in december, the first time in 3 years all the siblings and spouses and grandkids, and great-grandma were all together under the same roof! it was grand. and there was snow...

so yes, it's been a busy year.

and now i'm back home in seattle; it's been gray for days, and i'm looking ahead to this year. sadly, eagerly awaiting the end of 6th grade. francis isn't having the best of time making friends in his new school. he is often overwhelmed by his schoolwork. many boys his age are strutting, trash-talking, girl-watching, cussing fools, and thankfully, he's not quite there yet. which makes the fitting in tough. he does like band though, and practices his trumpet with gusto. i've already started off the year with some accomplishment: i ordered (finally) some prints on snapfish from our miami trip. starting off small. now all i have to do is china and our europe trip. hopefully before francis graduates. now there's a goal...

just listening to ella fitzgerald on pandora radio. had far-away friends over for coffee this morning. having nearby friends over for pizza and wine tonight...
really, i just try to get thru one day at a time. i know i grumble about the gray, but if i can laugh or smile at least once in the day, i'm doing pretty fine...

mooning over miami

yes, i've been gone from here...just kind of living life. but today, after two cups of coffee and feeling a bit jittery, ( and francis at a friend's house), i just had the urge to put these photos up from summer. middle school starts for francis next week, so this last week of "summer" we'll try to live it up, if the sun could just come out again and maybe stay there for a little while...

so what happened was: the day after school got out in june, we flew out east: francis to go to camp for the first time, and greg and i to head to miami, for our first getaway sans the kid. we didn't quite know what to expect, the destination being a rather last minute decision. i did try to research up on the area for things to do, and hotels (which now with the reviews feature, you're left feeling like you have a 50/50 chance of having a great time, or a horrible time, no in-between!) one thing i did not think to look up was the weather. florida = sun, right? well, as luck with the nyssens would have it: june in florida is the beginning of hurricane season, and after the first day there (of 110 degrees), the storms rolled in and unleashed torrential rain, thunder and lightning, every single day. and then they'd roll out. so we did get our sun. just sandwiched in-between some of the most fantastic shows of thunder and lightning i have ever seen. greg (being a northwest boy, and thus not being used to storms like this, like i have) was at first, quite terrified, and then, once that wore off, quite dense. and i like an idiot, followed him out onto the beach numerous times, for: pictures. me all the while telling him: when the lightning strikes, do you think it will hit the lifeguard station, the beach umbrellas, or us first? (he didn't get the hint, and i think we got lucky!)

we stayed at this little boutique hotel one block from the beach, called the catalina hotel and beach club, which we found here. (again, according to the reviews, people either loved it or hated it, but i really think it depends on the kind of traveler you are, and the amenities you are looking for.) us? we loved it. it was a pretty romantic place to stay, good food, comfy beds, free beach chairs and bike usage, and..oh yeah...free happy hour!
(more photos on my flickr...)





we were north of south beach, the art deco district, by a few blocks, so every day we hit the beach and every night we got dinner and walked all over town. we enjoyed the hot nights, loud music pumping out of hotel bars, gelato, the old (and often crumbling)architecture, the many accents we heard along the way, and of course, people watching. we even designated our favorite restaurant: sibilla, eating here twice, coming back just for the pizza.

after arriving to miami a little nervous, truly not knowing what to expect, we were very pleasantly surprised. there was, of course, the heat.(yes!) and many europeans on the beach. it felt like the most tropical international place one could get while still being in the united states. and all the servers we encountered were friendly and very relaxed. the pool guy chatted to us while we collected our towels for the beach, exclaiming over the sheer beauty of hurricanes. there's danger, of course. but a spectacular thing to witness, he said. the power of mother nature. (i was ready to take his word for it!) all in all, we had a wonderful time, despite the rain, (or including the hot sheeting rain) and we would happily do it again.

i know, i know...

i have not been around on this for quite some time, and i have been reminded and coaxed and urged. quite frankly, the days continue to be gray, and there's not much to write about, or rather, that i feel like writing about. i feel like the pictures i'm taking are the exact same pictures i took last year, and the things i wanted to accomplish by now (mainly: detailing our trip to europe and getting it in "blurb" book form) have not yet come to pass, and i disappoint myself in the lack of accomplishment and self-motivation. i feel like my creative bird has flown the coop. not to sound completely depressed, i'm not. just going thru a writer's block, actually, not even a block. "block" would imply the desire to write, but with no words coming. but lately there hasn't even been the desire to write. just to hibernate...
but spring is coming, trees are blooming, and i hope to crawl out soon.
thank you for the encouragement!
xo rachel

still a believer!

here's a picture greg took of francis on christmas morning. i know it's a little late, but well, i haven't been blogging this whole christmas break. you see, we got snow! lots of snow! (for seattle, of course!) and it stuck around. so we played, and sledded, and tromped around in it, got cold all the way thru, then came inside and got warm, watched movies, played games, ate cookies... and it was wonderful! i've just now posted some pics of our days on my flickr. the rain has since washed it all away, and school has started again, and it has been hard making the switch from late nights, late mornings, to early nights and early mornings. both francis and i overslept today, and he was late to school! (sigh) it's back to regular life. with some wonderful memories thrown in for good measure...